In a turn of events that will reshape American politics as we know it, a farmer from Georgia has come forward with the missing votes from the 2020 election. The development is set to see Donald Trump taking the state and changing the outcome of the election.
“You said you needed 11780 votes, Mr President. Well, I’ve got you 11781!” said Cleetus McRonroy from his farm in Union Point.
“I now see it as my patriotic duty to get these votes to the powers that be and get this whole mess cleaned up once and for all”.
It all started when Cleetus was searching for the lost television remote.
“The TV was stuck on Fox News. I mean, it had been stuck there for years, so we never really needed the remote at all,” exclaimed Cleetus.
“But now they’ve sold out by agreeing to pay more than $US787 million to settle the lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems, it is obvious they have joined the Deep State, and become part of the Lame Stream Media.”
“Anyway, I was searching down the back of the sofa and ‘sheebangabang’! There was a bundle of votes just shoved down there!”.
Cleetus invited some Trump-loving church types over to sort them out.
“You wouldn’t believe it. There were just enough to get Trump across the line!”
“We hugged and celebrated and thanks Jesus himself for putting the votes there”.
It is believed the rest will be a simple formality. Georgia accepting the votes, Pence coming back to do a re-certification, and a U-Haul being sent for Biden’s stuff.
Cleetus celebrated his history-changing find by going into his field and waving an American flag until his arms gave out.
“My Lordy I love this country”.
